Eliot, Eliot & Holden

By The Reverend Mrs. Silence DoGood

Dear Editor,

I never had a book published before. That is until now.

Several weeks ago I received a letter from Eliot, Eliot and Holden that they accepted my book proposal and were going to publish my work. I had submitted my idea to them over a year ago when I was waiting for my son who was having a photo shoot at a nearby building.  I had given them a portfolio of my sermons and Letters to the Editor with the proposed title of my book “Recipes for Overcoming the Fear of Living and the Fear of Dying.” They are also based in Midtown New York City where my son’s modeling agency is located.

I was actually surprised to hear from them because of their recent publication of a best seller. I thought that a book by a pastor from a bucolic farming village would not compare to the glamorous story that everyone was reading. Their publication of “My Life in Nickels” by Mikala Mont-Geneve Ford was number one on most of the world’s best seller lists. She is the heiress and socialite famous for her philanthropy, her beauty, her immodesty and her quick but demonic humor. 

So last week when I visited their offices to meet the publisher I was very nervous. As I sat in the waiting room I asked the receptionist which Eliot I would be meeting. I assumed that there were two Eliots who were either generational or at least familial. She told me that there is only one Eliot and that when he created the company he thought it would be more impressive to have two Eliots. He wanted people to assume that the company had roots. Had history. Had lineage. Learning that made me very nervous. Just what kind of man is Mr. Garson Eliot, Publisher?

I soon found out. The receptionist took me into a very small but nicely appointed conference room. Dark paneling, a chandelier too big for the room and on the largest wall a huge print of Ms. Ford smiling and holding her best seller. I sat alone wondering if I truly belonged there. “Maybe I should go home.”

Too late. The door opened quickly and the one and only Mr. Garson Eliot entered followed by a young woman.

“Hello Mrs. DoGood. We’re going to see if we can make a book out of your portfolio. Right now it’s a collection. That’s all. This is Ms. Emily Thatcher who will be your Editor. It was nice meeting you. Have a great day.”  And then he left. I didn’t know what to think.

“Mr. Eliot has a very busy day. Let’s get to work” said Ms. Emily Thatcher with a British accent.

I wondered if going home was still an option as I looked closely at this young and probably inexperienced Editor.

“Is this the woman who will help me get a wall size print on the conference room wall? I seriously doubt it. She’s wearing a classic Coco Chanel style pink suit with black trim to disguise the fact that she’s about 25 years old. In what antique store did she find the two strands of pearls that fit beautifully around her long neck? I feel like I’m on the set of Netflix’s The Crown. This isn’t going well.”

“I love your work so I convinced Mr. Eliot to work with you.”

“What a dear child” I thought to myself. “She’s so gifted recognizing my talent.”

“Mr. Eliot is correct in saying that your portfolio is only a collection. Well that’s how it stands right now. But we will work together to make it into a systemic zeitgeist. Actually you will have to do that because you have the vision. I believe readers will love your world view when we are finished.”

After reviewing my portfolio I came away with my first homework assignment. I have to identify the universal themes from my work which readers can use to overcome their fears inherent in … living and dying.

Amen.

The Reverend Mrs. Silence DoGood

Senior Pastor

Executive Director

President

Chairman

Choir Master (part-time)

The First Church of God’s Love